OMG... Really?!?

Pantry in Flux

here i go, starting slow (no, i did not mean to rhyme, but it happens, time-to-time).  i decided that the best thing to do was ease up on full on grain mill domination and expressing my own oil--gonna have to work my way up to that--and go with the basics.  so, i decided to stop into Williams-Sonoma on Friday to buy a food grinder attachment for my KitchenAid, some curing salt (a very soothing pink color) and some tellicherry peppercorns. then, yesterday, my older son went with me to browse through a farmer's market for great tomatoes, beautiful peaches, some well-deserved white onions (and, okay, a few cupcakes for my sons... and, yes, they are for my sons) and i felt pretty good.  then on to Super Target (no, not just Target... this one's SUPER) where i got some sugar, cereal, a juicer (on sale, mind you), and some spices--i'm making corned beef, pastrami and bacon from scratch and you would not believe how hard it is to find the things for that at one store, especially in meat country here.  then over to Henhouse (that's a market, for those who don't know) where i loaded up on bread flour, unbleached all-purpose flour,  dried beans (not all the ones i needed, but a couple), some produce, and staples to help me get some smoking and things going.  then on to Costco (i... love... Costco... oy!) where i grabbed huge slabs of meat, salmon, nuts, dried fruit and fresh fruit for some other things i'm planning.  THEN to Price Chopper (another grocery store, just so's ya know)  where i grabbed some more stuff then got home, unloaded all, sat down and looked at it all with this feeling in the pit of my stomach that was very much like a leadball surrounded with fire.  i was full of excitement and dread. "what the hell am i doing?"  "i can't wait to get started."  "ooh, let's move this here and that there so i can rework my kitchen to make it the perfect working space."  "i can't believe I'M DOING THIS!"  "i LOVE that i'm doing this!"  yeah, schizophrenic shit like that.  i am a bit taken aback by the different stores i need to go to in order to find the things i need in my pantry for this.  i find myself comparing what my shopping experience would have been in Los Angeles if i still lived there.  i don't mean to diss where i live now, not at all.  it's simply that my mind is a little boggled that i can't find all of these things in one store or, at least, not spread out across four or five.  i still need juniper berries, a ham, a turkey, pork belly to make my bacon (there's a butcher i go to that should have it, so i'm pretty excited about making my way over there to grab that, because i can not WAIT to make bacon for my kids from scratch), AN 8000 SQUARE FOOT KITCHEN AND AN UNLIMITED BUDGET, but, for now, i'll start with what i have.

Mango Mania for Juicing and Baking

The Country Store aka My Kitchen

i keep waiting for this to seem like a good idea in theory, but not in actual execution.  after all, i've been known to start things i don't finish, although i try very hard to keep that to a minimum since having children (now teenagers).  however, i don't want to lie to myself or give myself a hard time if, a day here or a day there, i fall prey to my schedule or life and need to grab something ready-made off the shelves.  and i will, of course, share those little mishaps as well.  but i look at my vast collection of cookbooks and feel pretty good about my choice.  i won't run out of ways to make exciting meals for my kiddles or finding different ways to jazz up their lunches or our lives.  food is a wonder, this unbelievable gift that bonds like nothing i know.  my sons and i come together and sit at the table every night, sending a collective sigh out of all of us at the end of the day.  sometimes, we eat too late, because of crazy schedules, it's true, but, well, i don't like us eating on different schedules.  there's only so much longer i'll be able to spend this time with my kids in this way before they're off to college, their own lives, their own families.  it's part of why i want to make things from scratch, now.  i want them to feel the love i have for them in every bite.  i need them to know they are my knights in shining armor and that i thank them.  and, so, i take a deep breath, look at my kitchen and put it together to begin my journey into scratchness.